A LuV GuRu...

2008-08-14T17:16:00.002+08:00

Dear Love guru,

I am from Singapore. And My english wasn't very good...
I am 23 yrs soon 24.
I have this problem where if i like a girl, i will avoid her.

i knew this 23 yrs old chinese girl who is malaysian 5 years ago in poly (year2003). during 1st year 2nd semester in polytechnic, i confessed to her that i like her in MRT, she stunned for a while, don't know what to say, then she shaked her head left and right without saying anything. Until then, i don't dare to talk to her much. 3 years later (year 2006), when we were almost graduate from our course, i wrote a testimonial to all my friends, including, telling her that i still like her through a website i created for my classmates when each individual needs to login to view the testimonial.

Within days, she replied with a long email, more than 1000 words most likely, talking about how she fears of crowd, and her concerns and difficulties coming to singapore and study/work, talking about her friends and also stated sometime during polytechnic she does likes me too. I was rather touched because this is the first girl who tells she likes me. But again, due to my relationship phobia of liking someone but yet, don't dare to talk to her face to face or asking her out, i did nothing at all after that email. Soon after graduated from polytechnic, i went to NS. During this 2 years, all this while, we keep contact in email in a 3 monthly basis.

In year Aug 2008, one of my friend as well as her friend's wedding party (The same friend we know of), and she was the bridemaid. Don't know why, this time round, after 2 years without meeting face to face, i am able to approach her and said hi first, asking her how is she. A bit chit chat and jokes during the wedding cemonary. After my friend wedding, one of my good male friend, me and her have to make a 15 minutes walk in a slient, dark, one way street to the busstop. Again i had the chance to do some chitchat, as well as in the bus. Soon reached to a MRT station, i gave her a handshake for farewell and we went different direction.

Since then, i had been thinking about her again till now.

Because i have seen alot of breaking-up-couples, divorces in my life, two-timer or three-timer, and i am also have commitment phobia, i have been thinking what happen if we are really together, will we break up. What happened if we are married, will we divorces. I am quite confident that i have the gut to confess to her again, maybe not face to face, but through email. I am not because fear of rejection but my concern is more on those bad memories we may have if we are being together. I don't wish to destory the wonderful image of her - *if one day after we break up, i may hate her to core. -

I was thinking, althought i like her, however i really don't know her very well, on the appearance, she is wonderful to me, but is she a two timer, is she a 2 face personality, is she a person who toy people's feeling, is she a great spender,... etc, or maybe totally different from what i suppose to expect...

Should i confess again or remains single to retain the wonderful memories of her? Is single better for me rather than getting into relationship?

CHUNG HONG

Hi Chung Hong,

I can understand your phobia of getting into a relationship and it might be difficult for you to overcome that on your own. To me, life has it's ups and downs so if we are always afraid of the downs, we will miss all the ups as well. Everything is the same. Does it mean you don't go and take your exams because you know you might fail? Or are you afraid of car accidents and you don't dare to take cars?

For all relationships, nobody can guarantee that it will 100% work. Everyone make their own judgement on the person they chose and try their best to make it work. If it works, good for them and if not, they move on with life. Though I should warn you it's an important choice to make. Thus, you should get to know the person more first before deciding on anything. From what you said, I don't think you know the girl very well so why not take this chance to know her better? After that, you can then decide if both of you are compatible or not or if she is the girl you want to share your life with.

Without taking the first step, nothing will happen. All the best and let me know the outcome ok?

A Luv Guru

Simran

2008-08-13T12:02:00.002+08:00

5 Aug 08, 14:44
Simran: Hi, luv guru, I am in some trouble and i have some quries too.

5 Aug 08, 14:48
Simran: Actually, I am in love wid someone his name is Raj, he loves me a lot and me too, our relation is four years old, bt there is sum problem or misunderstanding, till march 2008 had a gud relation.

5 Aug 08, 14:52
Simran: than a guy who want to mary him come into my life his name is Gaurav, bt i refuse his proposal, thn suddently i accept dat. coz raj and i we hadd physical relation and i no he does nt want to marry me

5 Aug 08, 15:32
Simran: due to his parents or his ego problem, thats why i decide 2 marry wid Gaurav. raj is cumng 2 my life n he said 2 marry me. i tell him all Gaurav. Raj said 'i hav sum physical relation wid him.

5 Aug 08, 15:34
Simran: bt its nt true, i dont hav any relation nor physical neigther mentaly, i am just wid him for my future secure, nw we hav dispute, he used abusing language always, bt i stll luv Raj, i leave Gaurav, bt

5 Aug 08, 15:36
Simran: till raj dont understand me, nw we break-up. bt i dont want dat he always thing i am prosetute, i am sincere wid my luv, plz help me out, hw i can 4get him? i luv him n he too, he also hurt.plz luvgur

Hi Simran,

Your story does seems a bit complicated to me and I am not sure I get the right picture. You were with Raj for 4 years and have physical intimate relationship with him but he doesn't want to marry you because of parents and ego problem? May I know what ego problem? Then you met Gaurav and he wanted to marry you. You agreed initially and later decided to leave him and go back to Raj. Yet Raj is accusing you of having physical relationship with Gaurav and quarrel with you often and broke up with you? He also thinks you are a prostitute? Now you still love him and want to forget him? Am I right?

If what I said above is the right interpretation, then it's only right for you to forget Raj and move on with your life. He does not deserve your love since he thinks you are a prostitute and do not trust you (since he suspects your relationship with Gaurav). Anyway, his family and ego problems will not allow him to marry you so there's no future for both of you. Please move on and find someone like Gaurav who love you and willing to give you a future. However, you must make sure that you love him also and not just because you want a substitute for Raj. Ok?

A Luv Guru

I-don't-know-love-at-all

2008-06-20T10:32:00.001+08:00

Dear luvguru,

I have to let you understand that I'm only 16, but I've been troubled for a year now, and I really need some real advice other than people telling me to "focus on your studies, more important". Well, I'm not sure where should I start so here it goes. There's this guy classmate of mine, whom has a really really good affinity(?) with girls. Meaning, he seem to be closer friends with girls.

Frankly speaking, I am really no popular/noisy/attention-centered girl in my class and I never really thought we could become such close friends. But until last year June, I don't know why, but we started to be friends. How should I put it, it just came naturally?

Like, he would sit beside me during lessons, borrow notes from me, ask me to copy some stuffs for him etc. Well, feelings can really develop, and to say the truth, I think it all sparked from there. Rumors flew and stuff, but at the same time, he treated me, just like how he treated every single person.

As time flew, he started to open up to me, like sharing all his problems with me. So of course it felt kind of special you know? It's like someone whom you don't know really that well suddenly opens up to you, so from then on, I felt kind of special. But then, I guess that's the way he is, because it seems like he opens up to.. well, everyone.

I guess I did get the attention I want from him at the end, because he started to call me every single night just to ask me simply "Got what homework?" and stuffs. At first, I just gave in to him, and of course we ended up chatting nonsensical stuffs, okay actually he did all the talking.

This continues on until.. today I guess. But of course this year it's become lesser. What exactly is my problem? Well, it's like sometimes I feel like he's making use of me instead. It's like, ask me copy things for him, file things for him etc. Eh, come on, I'm not his only friend? And furthermore, sometimes I really really feel so irritated by his calls I just ignore them. And the thing is, sometimes he gets so demanding, like as if I MUST help him.

To make things worse, I am not very strong on my stand. Because, sometimes he does things that really can.. melt my heart indirectly. And just recently, he sms-ed me at early morning to ask if I've slept yet, when I woke up, I saw the message and I was fuming mad, because I was like thinking, "Eh, confirm ask me got what homework." And to my surprise, he actually told me that he couldn't sleep at that time and was wondering if I'm asleep. Later that afternoon he called me, and again, I ignored his call (even though I felt quite.. bad), so I told him I'm not free to answer his call now. And I thought he will keep calling (like last time), instead he just said, "oh okay wanted to ask you a simple question, never mind you go do your stuffs."

I know it may sound very simple to you, but to me, I feel very.. I don't know. It's like all these while for this year I keep giving him lots of cold shoulders and stuff, and then now like I feel, actually maybe he's really not making use of me.

Sigh, I really don't know how to make this whole situation seem clear to you, and I'm sorry. >.< It's just, I don't know how to express my feelings well I guess. But really, somethings he does to me is really very small and simple and, touches my heart. But sometimes he gets so demanding I feel so irritated by him (like when he will keep begging me to go and study with him), and then after awhile I will think back and ponder again. It's never ending and it seriously is bugging me.

Truth is, I email-ed this to you not because I want to have a happy ending with him or whatsoever, actually I don't know what I want. I don't need to go into a BGR now, and studies are of course still my priority (so no worries), it's just that he's my classmate, and I have to face him every single day, which makes it hard for me to completely avoid him. I really don't know what my feelings for him are and what his feelings for me are too. But, I really don't want to confront him at all, moreover I don't want anyone of us to be affected while preparing for O' levels right?

Could you give me some advices and what you think he is thinking? Because, I really cannot read his mind. One day he seems to be so understanding, caring and everything towards me, and another I feel like he's just taking advantage of me in studies and nothing else. By the way, he never showed me any attitude up till now, though I've already gave him lots of cold shoulder though he always has a way to 'cure' it. >.<

Like I've said, I just don't like this uncertain feeling in me that he's giving me, and I thought secretly loving someone is blessed? Why do I feel like actually I really am too young and really don't know what love is at all? Of course my life doesn't revolve around him, because I do let my girlfriends know this situation too, but I guess they really can't understand what he's thinking as well though most of the time they assure my feelings isn't one-way. Sigh.

Finally, thank you for your precious time in reading this, but I do hope my name remains as my nickname instead of my real one, I would gladly appreciate it if you reply me, because I guess I really need to get this off my chest.

Yours sincerely,
"I-don't-know-love-at-all"

Hi,

Actually you have been very clear in telling me your story and I know very well how you feel.

Firstly, I have to tell you the truth and I hope that you can handle that. My first impression is that this guy is really more like "making use" of you. Are you good in your studies or do you look like very easy going? These are some of the reasons why he chose you instead of others. As you said, he has many friends so why he only ask you for help and not others? You are easier to bully?

I understand that he did small actions to touch you but these are just normal. Since he needs your help in his studies, he has to put in some effort too. Thus, he has to make sure that you are willing to help him and he has to make you "love" him. These explain why sometimes he is so so nice to you. And as a young girl, it's only normal that you fell for him.

However, I do not discount the fact that there might be a teeny weeny bit of chance that he likes you too. Maybe as a friend or maybe as a potential girlfriend. But I am sure that he is either indecisive about it or very passive, thats why he is not taking any action.

There are actually some ways you can dissolve this issue. First is to confront him and ask him what he thinks of you but you have stated that you do not want to confront him. Second way is to ignore him which is what you have been doing. Show him that you are not someone that he can ask for help just like that. I am sure if you ignore him for some time, he will get the hint. If he really likes you, he will then tell you and hopefully you will give him a chance. If he doesn't like you, he will know that he can't depend on you for help and he will choose another person to target on.

Let me know what you intend to do ok? You have to keep a clear mind and not to affect your studies.

A Luv Guru

Edmund 1

2008-05-02T13:42:00.002+08:00

i'm Edmund , 19 tis year and i'm a poly student.My gf is 17 and she jus went in ITE 3 months ago. We have quarrel over privacy as i use to check her sms and chatlogs she had even after she told me the truth i still insist of checking. I did tat because She hides stuff from me because no matter if she tells me the truth, i'll still check her stuff making her so breathless as i'm very possessive.She'll also hide stuffs tat will upset me like if a guy pass her some birthday present she'll keep it to herself as she fear i'll get jealous.But to me, she's hiding and not being frank.I broke her promise 3 times not the check her stuff before we almost got tore apart.i cried infront of her countless times and over the phone begging her to stay cos i'm in the wrong. Normally i'll jus drop tears and no sound. but when she say she feel so tired of me and all those. i really did break down. I told i'll change in return i wan her to be frank with me.we use to be very sweet and she'll sms me she miss me, she loves me, she feels the need of meeting me , sweet talks and all. we spend very close intimacy together which includes intercourse at a legal age.Eventually we got back together , i no longer check her sms or anything else. But many guys wanna know her from ITE and even her classmate wanna woo her despite tat she told them she have a bf. Now tat guy will sms her everyday and she'll reply as long as the guy started the sms or reply her. i did told her how i feel when she keep sms-ing even she spend time with me and all but she say she know her limits and ask me not to worry as friends can only be friend nthing more then tat. Close friends will always be jus close friends and nthing much. And told me she loves me.Once she ask her ITE friends out, but only 3 guys went as her bestfriend ( which is a gal same class as her ) is not free. i wanted to tag along as she's the only gal but she rejected me cos it mend to be a friend outing. i feel very uneasy , i trust her but not the guys as i dunno them .I feel i need to give her the space and freedom because i dun wan to tied her down resulting stress to her. but i wan to feel secure-ness from her which she dont give.In 1 hand i need to trust she know her limits and wont do anything bad to hurt me , and on the other hand i feel so lonely when she's not by myside and i need her to make me feel secure ( we use to meet almost everyday ). i did told her tat i dun see her limit with other guys but she say i'm thinking too much because it's jus sms-ing and there's nthing going on.Even when we're having dinner, tat guy will sms her. And i'll like say in a nice way. can put ur phone aside 1st ? enjoy our dinner and later u sms? i've been trying not to interfer with her sms and the guy tat calls her some nights ( tat guy = tat classmate who wanna woo her ).there's even 1 times after i talk to her. i see tat she's very tired and i went home. she did sms me and told me tat she's turning in now and sms her when i reach home. it was 9.15 when i was going home . done my stuff it's like 10.30pm. i presume she's slping but i use my hp to phone her. and i was on the 2nd line. after a calls i've made. she pickup the call and say she's on the line with tat guy talking abt a friend's brithday tml and sounded rather irritated. TO me it's like r u acting to be aslp not picking up my call ?After a talk with her which she didnt say a word like i expected, i feel tat she wan space for herself and friends. But in my heart i dunno how i'm gonna live a day without her by myside. i feel a need to talk to her, know where she is and all. but i cant as she'll get irritated if i keep smsing her.She's also an introvert which dun say out how much she loves me and all and wat so ever. even on blog and friendster or even msn. dun place nthing abt me. i guess even in front of her friends she also wont talk abt me as she feel there's no link somehow. But she did all those writing abt me last time and all the things she did to show ppl she love me on net is fading before she enter ITE.she did tell me tat the classmate likes her and told her thing like " if i know u before ur bf, will i stand a chance?" and " i wanna be gd to u but u have a bf " all tis stuff. this is only wat she told me but there MIGHT be more.She also dun sms me as much as before when she went ITE and she even set somthing like, we meet like 1 3 5 and sunday. Her sms is likely to be -i'm going to sch now mao ( cat in chinese , the way we call ea other ). reach sch sms u muack. love u. - i having break le, u must eat baobao( full in chinese ) later huh. love u- i after sch sms k. muacks love u- i reach home sms u mao. love u heh. something like tat. and i talk to her on phone, i can hear her sms-ing.Any advice u can give to improve my relationship cause i really do love her.. alot..

Hi Edmund,

Firstly, it's not right of you to check on her smses as you have infringed her privacy. I can see that you loves her a lot. But at the same time you might not be loving her the right way.

Also, both of you are so young and thus relationships at this point will not be very stable unless both of you are of a certain maturity level. At the start of the relationship, both of are very enthusiastic and thus it can be very loving and both of you can meet very often. As time goes, the intensity will be lowered and you cannot expect couples who are together for years to behave the same way when they just got attached. Thus, after she started studying in ITE, she probably needs a lot more time on her own to handle her studies and her own circle of friends. You have to learn to accept that.

With guys around her, it's inevitable that she will have guys interested in her. It will be more weird if she tells you nobody is interested in her right? Thus, I find that your girlfriend is quite open and honest with you on most issues. Some of the things she might hide from you because she knows you will get jealous or angry but that doesn't mean she meant to hide it from you.

In order for your relationship to last and for you to show that you really love her, you have to show her that you are matured enough and no longer the small young boy that gets jealous over small trivial stuffs. Tell her that she can go out with her friends so long as she let you know and have enough time for you and her studies. She will be surprised at your change but she certainly will be impressed. You then have to adjust yourself that you cannot expect to meet her so often. To me, couples can meet twice a week and they can still be very loving. Quality time is more important.

Trust me, you have no choice but to trust her. Even if you don't trust her, there's nothing you can do as you can't spy over her 24 hours. By not trusting her, you will only create a greater barrier between the two of you. If she loves you, she will know her own limits.

All the best okie?

A Luv Guru

girl

2008-02-11T15:50:00.000+08:00

4 Feb 08, 18:06

girl: HI GURU! i'm currently 17yrs old going 18. well, have quite a few problems that i cant sort it out myself. hope u can give me some advise (: i'm attached to a NS guy. know him cos we're in the same sec sch & we stay a few blks away. we starting dating abt 1 mth. every sat he book out frm camp, we will always go out till the nxt morning. last sat, he bought me to his hus to wait for him to get changed, aft tat, we went out. he's mom started nagging, saying tat "every sat come out den hang out until morning. TIS IS NT HOTEL! ... somehow, i got feeling tat he's mom is saying it to me. ok, i din take it to heart. tat nite, i asked to go back early but he refused. we hang till 6in da morning den we went back. after a few hrs of slp, we met up again, cos he's gonna book in to camp at night. we went out awhile n went to his hus. he's mom suddenly shout to him "YOU GO TELL HER, DUN COME MY HUS I DUN WELCOME..HER TO MY HUS." was shocked but he ask me nt to take it to heart. while we walk out of the door, she shout to me" I DUN WANNA SEE U ANYMORE, DUN WELCOME U HERE" i was like WTF?! ok, i walked off, i dunno wad he do, i heard smashing things n fighting with his parents, i din bother n walk to my hus. he chased aft me. i feel like an idiot aft tis incident. shag. i feeling like giving up on him. tat nite when he go into camp, he din call or msg me either do i. bt usually we will chat. wad shld i do GURU. =(

Hi girl,

Sorry for the late reply.

I know it's difficult for you and your bf during this period of time as he is serving his NS. Many couples do not survive this stage. For your bf, he should be very stressed over his NS, his mother and you. Thus, both you and his mother should not add on to his stress.

When he book out from camp, I can understand that he wants to spend time with you and not with his mother. That happens to many guys. However, to spend the whole night with you until the next morning is a bit too much also. Reasons being;

1) His mother will think that he is only concern about you and not his family.

2) His mother might be worried what he will doing the whole night with you and what are the consequences given that both of you are so young.

3) He might not have enough rest if he spent the whole night with you and have to book in on sunday night. His mother might also worried about his health and safety in camp if his son is tired.

You have to put yourself in the shoes of his mother. However, it's also not right for his mother to scold you in that manner but I supposed she doesn't know how to communicate to you and even her son. As a good girlfriend, I think you should insist that your bf goes home early to his family so that his mother will not be worried. You will have to sacriface the time you spent with him. In this case, his mother will know that you are a nice girl and might change her attitude towards you, but that will take time.

Another way is to put on hold this relationship first so that your bf can concentrate on serving his NS. Both of you can still be friends and go out occasionally (don't have to be every week). If after his NS both of you still have feelings for each other, then its not too late to be together again.

Whatever your decision, just remember to communicate well to your bf and his family. Is there anyone else you can talk to besides his mother? Any brothers or sisters? It might be easier to work through a 3rd party if both of are are not on speaking terms yet.

Hope that you can sort this out soon. Let me know if you have any other problems.

A Luv Guru

Nick 1

2008-01-21T17:45:00.000+08:00

17 Jan 08, 00:32Nick: Hi.Its The guy from Sgforums.. Could you help me? Its like this.. I 've been drinking for 6 years since 9. I drink to relieve pain from relationship.. hope u could help me.

Hi Nick,

I am assuming that you are referring to drinking alcohol when you are 9 years old? I have a few things to clarify with you before I can answer your question.

What kind of relationship problems you have at 9 years old?

How do you get to have alcohol and how can you afford at 9 years old?

Do you have problems from 9 years old till now?

Basically, I would not recommend drinking as a way to relieve your pain. You can always shift your focus on doing something else. Focus on your study, learn a new hobby, do some reading or listen to new songs etc. Drinking will only temporarily relieve your pain and when you are sober, the problem is still there.

Hope you can stop drinking and channel your energy to doing more meaningful things. You are only 15 years old now and there's so much you can do than to drink!

A Luv Guru

2007-12-27T14:44:00.000+08:00

20 Dec 07, 05:01Yara: Hi, I'm back well I hope you're still remember' me! my story was about that shy guy with me in the college ,well nothing important happened to be honest , only few more little chats every time we meet. I came back here , cause I guess he started to be interested (well I'm not sure , but he is treating me so nice and he's smiling every time we see each other & I guess he's not doing this because I'm only his sister's friend!) , but I'm not sure if he still has a girlfriend or not ,casue I met his sister few days ago and she told me that unknown girl phoned her over a year , telling her that she likes her brother ! but she is not really sure if he's still in touch with that girl or not !

Hi yara,

Of course I remember you. It's always great to see you all popping by my blog and leaving messages and questions for me.

It seems to be that things might be going well for you. I think it's a good start that at least he seems to be interested and happy to be going out with you. Cherish all these opportunities and make this relationship grow and blossom. Try to understand him better and communicate well with him. This will also let him know you better.

As for the other girl, I don't think you should be too worried about it. So long as the guy is happy going out with you, I think you have a good chance.

So are you dating him for New Year's countdown?

warmest wishes,
The Luv Guru

protollium 4

2007-12-13T17:36:00.000+08:00

12 Dec 07, 10:13 protollium: Hi. Rem me? I asked my fren yesterday and he told me tat he is also interested in my love interest after I told him I have feelings for her. He said he would confess and pursue her. Now I dunno wat to do and how can I find out if the gal prefers me or him??

Hi protollium,

Thanks for coming back.

Firstly, are you close to this friend of yours? It's quite unusual for a friend to do that to you knowing that you like her.

So far, what is the progress between you and the girl? If both of you are stable, then you should not be afraid of anyone coming in between both of you. If a girl can be pursued so easily by another guy, then she's probably not worthy of your love.

Try to focus your efforts on the girl. Ignore your friend's action and if the girl really likes you, she will reject your friend.

All the best.

A Luv Guru

poorme

2007-11-30T17:01:00.000+08:00

Are there times where ur other half felt like an stranger to you? Like you thought you know him/her very well but there are still things which u dont really know at all? Juz wondering if anyone came across such incidents, thats all........

poorme

Hi poorme,

The constant thing among all human beings is that we change. And we change every day. Human beings are quite fickle-minded most of the times. One moment we feels like eating something spicy and next moment we prefer something plain.

As much as we can get to know and understand someone, his or her character. It's difficult to say that we know exactly how the person will react when it comes to different situations.

And also how do you assess that you know the other person very well? Are you sure you really know her very well? Different people have different assessments and measures and there's no 100% correct method.

I think most importantly, you should continue to communicate and interact with this person and to constantly try to understand this person, especially if you like or love her. There's no end to this understanding.

Isn't it a common scene where old married couples still squabbles over small trivial matters? Shouldn't they know each other well enough to know their preferences?

Let me know if you have more questions, ok?

Cheers!

A Luv Guru

maskedangel

2007-11-27T12:16:00.000+08:00

Ok peeps, i try to put it as simply as i can. I'm trying hard to forget my ex. we broke up april this year. People have been telling me, the only way u can forget her, is to find a new girl, be happie with her, and hopefully, forget the ex.

My situation now is, i got close to a gal recently, lets call her A. Everything seems happier and livelier when im with her. We are pretty close right now, and it seems tad she'd make a great girlfren. But my dilemma is that, i cant seem to forget my ex. And the feel of being together with "A" juz doesnt feel right, cos im afraid tad i i'll not love her as much as i love my ex.

So the question is. . . Should i give this new relationship a try, and go steady with her. . OR should i juz wait till my mind finally wakes up from thinkin of my ex, but risk losing "A"? Sorry if this post isnt clear. Its close to 5am now, and im not thinking straight. Hope to get responds soon

maskedangel

Hi maskedangel,

Firstly, you have put A in a disadvantageous position as you started with her when you still cannot forget your ex. This is unfair for A as it would be difficult for her to win your heart.

It's also apparent that you do not feel special towards A yet. Maybe it's because you still cannot forget your ex-girlfriend or many she is not the one for you. So this is what I suggest you can do;

1) Sort out your thoughts as to whether A is the right girl for you or not. If yes, then you will need to forget about your ex and start anew. If you need time to do that, you can tell A frankly. I think she will appreciate your frankness.

2) Only when you can forget your ex and ready for a new relationship, then you can start going out with A or other girls. This will be fairer for them.

I hope you can sort out your thoughts as soon as possible as opportunities do not come back easily.

Let me know what happens ok?

All the best.

A Luv Guru

Vinny 1

2007-11-21T14:35:00.000+08:00

I'm confused and hoped that someone can enlightened me on this. She n I went into the company at the same time. At first, we are quite close as we help each other since we are doing the same job scope and we are non perm staff. I would say that I am not attracted to her at first. As time goes, I find that I tend to think of her at times. When she was feeling down, my heart went out for her and my mood was affected too. However it seems that we are drifting apart. Nowadays we don't really talked to each other ex for work related. I tried to make small talks but the response from her is cold. I mus say tt the reason is that durin work, I tend to be v focused on my work n tt could be one of the reaon why we hav drifted. She also began to be close to my other male colleagues. They often keep to themselves and keepin me out of the loop. Recently she has been gettin along with one of my boss very well, often stayin back and buyin stuff for him. I mus said tt I'm jealous of this... Am I in love w her? What shld I do next?

Vinny

Hi Vinny,

It seems that you are in love with her. However, this could also happened to good friends as well especially if you are more possessive. She being close to other male colleagues and staying back for her boss does not mean that she "loves" them. She might just be friendly and helpful. And ain't helping our bosses what we have to do at work?

If you really think that you are in love with her, try asking her out and see how she reacts. I would rather you seize the opportunity now then to regret later.

Let me know if you need more advice.

A Luv Guru

Yara 5

2007-11-19T14:35:00.000+08:00

14 Nov 07, 21:45yara: I feel so down , his sister told me that he is interested in other girl , I feel like a stupid ...Like I involved myself in a relation ..I'm happy 4 him but it's a bit hard 4 me to imagine that he fall in love with somebody else..I have to forget about it , at the end I can not think of someone who is thinking in someone else !! thanx alot Luv Guru for helping me...bye

Hi yara,

You're welcome. I am glad that you shared your problems and questions with us.

Are you very sure what his sister said is true? If yes, I know how it feels to be in your situation. It certainly hurts to know that someone you love is in love with another person. However, there are cases where someone continues to be a friend in this situation and in the end she might be able to win his heart because she touched him with sincerity.

I am not suggesting that you do this if you do not wish to. You can continue to be his friend and yet keep your options open for other guys as well. Do not close up your social circle and hide in the darkness. Stay positive and confident and continue meeting new friends and in this way, you will make yourself more appealing to the opposite sex. You never know when this guy might change his mind.

I don't think I have helped much but just more of offering a listening ear to you.

All the best and do come back if you have other questions.

A Luv Guru

star 1

2007-11-13T14:19:00.000+08:00

13 Nov 07, 11:09star: iie hab a verii chio stead, but she hv mani other boys like her. iie m v worried that she will leave mii. What can iie do to keep her by my side?

Hi star,

Firstly, you have to learn to have confidence in yourself and also trust in your "stead". Girls usually do not like guys who do not have confidence in themselves and kept getting suspicious, jealous or over-protective.

There is nothing much you can do to ensure that she don't leave you. What's yours will be yours eventually. All you can do is to be a good bf and these are the qualities in my opinion;

1) Caring
2) Concern
3) Sensitive
4) Listens to her problems and thoughts
5) Communicate with her
6) Faithful
7) Responsible
8) Accomodating
9) Remembers all anniversaries and her birthday

If you have the above qualities and yet she still leaves you, it's probably her lost then.

Don't worry so much and learn to relax and take things easy ok?

A Luv Guru

Bee 1

2007-11-13T14:14:00.000+08:00

13 Nov 07, 11:07bee: I really like my gf, but i tink she can be quite irritating at times? Should i break up with her?

Hi bee,

There are many factors that determine whether you should carry on with your gf or not. How much do you love her? And how irritating is she?

If she is so irritating to the extent where you cannot stand her, then both of you won't be happy together right? If she is only occasionally irritating and you love her very much, then maybe you can still consider?

Another way is to talk to your gf about this and see what was the cause of her being so irritating. Sometimes she might not know that she is irritating to you, she might think that it's ok or cute even. Try to communicate more with your gf and see if it helps. If after several attempts and she still failed to stop being irritating, then I guess you don't have much of a choice, right?

A Luv Guru

hihi 2

2007-11-13T11:07:00.000+08:00

12 Nov 07, 21:58hihi: will a girl try to force herself loving someone else instead of being with the one she love? will she give me up? she is those kind who is soft heart and kind who dont wish to hurt others. guru she say she dont have a good reason to break...we love each other...but...why must this happen...it really hurts...

guru can i ask on behalf of the girl i like? she say her bf called and say he has been cheated and thought he is just a replacement of me...and she say she dont know wat to do now..this is getting bad i really dont mind wat the ending would be..i just want her to be happy again..what is the best ending guru?

Hi hihi,

Ok, the situation looks quite bad right now. So, can I assume that your girlfriend told her bf about you and her feelings about you?

Some girls can actually force herself to love someone that she don't really love. In the older days, there are people who can get married to someone they don't love and stay with them for the whole life. I would say that it's rather rare to find such girls in the modern days where most people will fight for their true love, to the extent of going against their parents' approval to eloping etc. She has a good reason to break off with her bf actually, which is she don't love him at all.

I have no idea why she told her bf about you in the first place. Her bf was right in saying that she cheated him of his feelings and he is only a substitute for you. All she can do now is to apologise to her bf and break off immediately. The more she drag on, the more hurt will be inflicted on all 3 parties. I think this is the best solution for her.

Then I suggest you do not jump into this relationship immediately. Let her have some time to cool down and sort out her thoughts so she knows very sure what she wants. I don't want you to suffer the same fate as her bf.

However, I have to advice you that this girl doesn't seems to know what she wants and do not have a strong mind of her own. She is easily influenced by situations and will often give misleading signals as well. I certainly hope that she is not out to "play" you guys. There are certainly such people around so don't be surprised.

I hope you can see the whole thing with a clear mind first before making any moves. The best ending is that her bf accepts her apology and leaves her for good. Then she cool down for a period of time and realise that she loves you a lot and be together with you.

Take care :)

A Luv Guru

hihi 1

2007-11-12T11:17:00.000+08:00

11 Nov 07, 11:24hihi: guru recently im in love with a girl who has a bf...she is close to me and we sms each other everyday and she told me she is happy being with me..i know it is not right to get into their bgr but i have a strong feeling that she is interested in me...will a girl give up a relation for another guy? she is the type of girl we dont wish to hurt others...she is kind and sweet.should i give up?

Hi hihi (sounds weird),

Yes. A girl will give up a relationship for another guy. Firstly, maybe her present relationship is not ideal or she might be having problems. In this case, it is very easy for her to fall for another guy if the other guy is much better.

I think the point here is how are you going to carry on with this relationship without getting hurt and without being accused of snatching someone's girlfriend. Firstly, if you are very sure that this girl is interested in you, you should tell her to settle her present relationship first before proceeding further with you. This would be fairer to you and better for her too. If she is hesitant to do so, then maybe she wasn't serious about you or she might be confused and don't know what she wants either. If not, then she is just trying to enjoy having the love and concern of 2 guys at the same time. Some people can be like that.

Assess the situation and decides what you want to do. But right now, I would advise you not to put in too much hope and expectation yet so that you won't get hurt.

Let me know what happens ok?

A Luv Guru

Protollium 3

2007-11-12T11:10:00.000+08:00

10 Nov 07, 21:23protollium: I wanna ask her out after the exams but i dunno where to go.. i have nv been on a date with a gal...

Hi Protollium,

You can start off asking about books or IT stuffs then suggest going to bookstores or IT shops? You can also ask for advice in terms of dressing or hairstyle then ask if she could accompany you to shop for some new clothes?

It does not need to be a serious date for the first time. Find some common stuffs and just go out as friends or buddies first. Or if she needs to go somewhere, you can offer to accompany her.

Just find an opportunity and seize it ok?

A Luv Guru

Yara 4

2007-11-12T11:05:00.000+08:00

10 Nov 07, 17:29yara: & every time we're talking about the college + about his project 4 graduation , I think he has to realize that I'm really interested in him otherwise I won't ask him about his plans after college..till now he didn't ask me to go out & I'm oK with that , maybe it's really huge step 4 a shy guy!but I feel worry ,if he start to think of me or not !! OK,tomorrow I'm gonna see him , should I say "hi" & try to chat with him ...or just forget about it & let every thing goes normal!!

Hi Yara,

Some guys are just that slow. They won't know that you are interested in him just because you asked about his plans after college. Yes, if he is really a shy guy he won't ask you out unless you ask him out first.

I can see that you still like this guy very much. Yes, you should continue to chat with him and see how it goes. Find a chance to go out with him. Doesn't need to be a serious date but there must be some common things that both of you are doing. Going library? bookstores? IT stuffs? Or pretend to seek help from him to help you with computer stuffs? Important thing is someone have to create some opportunity!

Let me know if you finally have the chance to go out with him.

A Luv Guru

Yara 3

2007-11-10T16:07:00.000+08:00

10 Nov 07, 05:37yara: Well ...I tried to chat to him several times , it was ok...he was kind with me ...but I felt like I was pushing him to do this ...cause it never happend before that he comes and start chat with me ...

Hi Yara,

Glad that you are back!

What do you mean by you felt like you were pushing him? What did you do?

Most people will not chat with you if they do not feel like doing it, unless there are some hidden reasons. And just because he never did it before doesn't mean he cannot start chatting with you. Maybe he started to get interested?

So, what did he chat with you about? Have you all started going out yet?

A Luv Guru

May 1

2007-11-10T15:41:00.000+08:00

9 Nov 07, 23:30 may: A friend intoduced a supposedly guy of good criteria to me ( as what she heard from people ), during the first meeting ( the very first time I saw this person ), he was very causually dressed in T-**** .... I mean he was very causally dressed in T-shirt and shorts, this friend of mine heard from people about him, but during the first meeting I was slightly taken back by his many questions about my monthly salary and how long I have been working.

Question: Has choosing girlfriend been reduced to using one's earning ability as the first point to think of already?

Hi May,

Thanks for dropping by my blog. My answer is no definitely. Earning ability should not be the first point to consider when it comes to choosing girlfriends.

I must say that this friend of you do not really behave well in terms of social etiquette. It is definitely rude to ask any friend, be it guy or girl, their monthly pay when you first met. It's such a taboo to do that, even close friends do not reveal such sensitive topics.

It's alright to ask about their occupation because that is the common question that people ask. And whether your girlfriend is a teacher or a doctor or a sales assistant do make a difference. I am not talking about social status but more of whether there's any common topics to talk about.

And you said he dressed casually? Does he know that he is meeting a potential girlfriend and where was the place you all met up? Sometimes it depends on the venue also. But at the least he needs to be decently dressed up and clean, regardless of venue.

So besides all these, what's your impression of him?

A Luv Guru

Protollium part 2

2007-11-10T12:43:00.000+08:00

9 Nov 07, 16:56protollium: Hi thanks for posting my problems. Recently the gal in my story told me another guy was after her. And that guy is one of my friends. Then she told me she would keep her options open and start as fren.

So is she unsure of herself and her feelings tats why she wants to try out both my fren and me?

Hi protollium,

Thanks for coming back to my blog. Most people are usually very glad or happy when they know someone is after them. This is because it shows that they are attractive and in demand. Thus, some people even enjoy it when more people are after that.

For your case, it seems like this girl is very frank and honest with you which is a good thing. However, she also let you know that you have a rival! So she might be hinting that you need to do more in order to win her heart. On the other hand, she might be telling you that you don't have a chance since there's another guy after her. These are 2 possibilities.

If it's me, I will continue to be friends with her if I am sincere about her. I won't do extra things to win her heart but I will continue to show her that I am sincere. I will do my best to be with her and listen to her when she needs me. I hope to touch her with my sincerity.

I hope that you will be successful in your pursue. Let me know ok?

A Luv Guru

Help....

2007-11-09T15:23:00.000+08:00

I am a 17 year old jc student. I feel rejected in every aspect of life. I am feeling really depressed now and feel like dying... but i am scared of cutting my wrist although i have tried before. I jus took my promos... no need to think, i m quite sure i flopped my exams. in addition to that, there is no one around me to give consolation. my class totally ostrocize me n i rili feel lyk jumping down from the 4th floor. I have totally no coommon topic with my classmates. They always like to play pranks on me. During breaks, the guys always go off together without me. ***..then i have to eat by myself. the gals all think i am a loser!!! wth!!

Although i admit i am not very good looking but i think i am decent looking. Recently i told a gal in my class that i like her. she said she wants to focus on her studies and only want to be friends. however from then on she started avoiding me. she even make a joke of me. i even overheard one of her friends saying "he so er xin and such a loser still dare to jio u". i feel very sad after hearing this. What shall i do?

Lost

Hi Lost,

I sympathise with you that you have to go through all these while other youths are having lots of fun with their friends. I remembered that in my time, we do have some students in class that suffered the same fate as you. They were always the one being made fun of. Somehow there's something different about them. They usually fall under one or more of the below categories;

1) They look weird, nerdy or geeky.

2) They are quiet and easily intimidated.

3) They can't communicate well with others.

4) They dress weirdly or carry weird bags or accessories.

Somehow they are just different. No, I don't mean that they deserve all these just because they are different. But for other kids, these people are easy targets for ridicule and pranks and they knew they can get away with it.

These are some suggestions that I thought you can do;

1) Continue to be yourself and be different from the rest. This is your style and soon people will recognise you for this. However, your style needs to be positive. That means you can be artistically dressed up but not sloppy or ugly. Having a positive style of your own is good.

2) Try to change yourself a bit so that you can blend in with the rest. You do not have to throw away your preferences but can make changes bit by bit so that others will not find it weird to associate themselves with you.

3) Build up your confidence and learn to communicate well with others. Do not feel scared of taking the 1st step because you never know until you try, right?

As for the girl you like, you are probably better off without her if she's someone that say such nasty things about you. It shows that she's not that nice a girl afterall. After you managed to improve your self-confidence and am to mingle and blend in with the rest, I am sure you wouldn't have any problem looking for the right girl.

All the best!

A Luv Guru

She likes me or not?

2007-10-26T14:30:00.000+08:00

Protillium: My story

I met a gal (KY) during my internship and since we worked in different departments, we seldom talked to each other or get to know each other better. I only manged to talk to her on two occasions at the bus interchange. Then sch starts and we return to our respective lives. One day i found out that someone added me on msn ans as always, i just added the contact. It was actually KY and I was quite surprised cos at that time I din really know her that well. I just quite curious and so asked our common friend about this and he told me not to imagine things cos he told me KY is that sort of gal. Anyway, since then ky and I would chat on msn about sch work, internship matters etc. 50% of the time she would say hi to me first on msn. Slowly we talked about our views on BGR and this lasted for about 8 weeks till now. I guess we are flirting with each other. When she returns from afk, she would tell me that she is back. She told me before that she was not actively looking for a BF now and she knows that I am single cos our common fren told her about it. Every now and then she would mention me in her blog and we would chat on msn till 2, 3 am. I feel like she is dropping hints to me on msn and showed signs of interest or rather she has a good impression of me. Once I asked her how she thinks about me and she said that I am a shy guy. Ahe also mentioned that I am a special friend to her. I see her in the lecture theatre for one of my modules but we nv spoke b4 in sch. Now comes the problem: 1. I am not sure whether she is really interested in me or does she treat all her friends the same way. Cos from her blog, I can see that there are a couple of close male friends in her life. 2. I am not sure whether I can juggle my sch work and r/s with her if I really get tgt with her. 3. I am really a shy guy like she said and when it comes to matters of the heart I dunno what to do. I nv had any female friends, not in contact with any over sms or msn.. not even sec sch frens. So i feel i am inexperience and I got no idea whether I really like her. I dunno whats the feeling of love. But everytime i would yearn to see her online and talk to her. I do not understand myself and dunno if I really love her. How can i find the answer. I feel quite troubled over this. What should I do now? My friends told me to talk to her more face to face and also ask her out.

Hi protillium,

There are a few reasons why a girl will talk to you over MSN. Maybe she's bored or maybe she just need to talk to someone.

For your case, you need to ask yourself whether you have the time to juggle between work and her, if no then no reasons for you to be so troubled over this, right?

I am assuming that yes, you have the time for this. So, I hope I can help you solve your problems. You did said that you are very inexperienced in this and do not really talk or interact with girls before in the past. May I also know how old are you now? There's no harm in being friends with this girl as it will help you to gain more experience. However, from what you said, nobody can confirm that this girl is interested in you.

If it's me, I will try to date her at least twice and if she rejects me twice, I will probably stop doing so. This is because it's quite clear that you tried dating her and she can't be so ignorant and don't know that you are interested in her. If she is genuinely busy, then she can propose another day to meet with you. If not, then I don't think she is interested.

I also don't think that you can "love" her as both of you have been mostly talking on cyberspace and people do behave differently in real life. Thus, I suggest you do not take the chats online too seriously.

I will advise you to meet more girls in real life and try making more friends first because you need all the experiences in communicating with girls and understanding them better. After doing that, you will probably face less obstacles next time if you meet someone you like.

As for this girl, continue to be friends with her and see how it goes but please do not put in anymore feelings for her, just treat her as a friend. In the meantime, meet for girls and widen your social circle and who knows you will realise that you do not really love this girl afterall.

A Luv Guru

2007-10-26T11:07:00.000+08:00

25 Oct 07, 23:59pc: I have briefly known of some males friends who were very friendly to me but in actual fact, they were not interested in me in the boy-girl relationship. I am certain of this but why are they giving contradictory signals? Fortuntaely, I have been alert enough to detect that they were not attempting to develop the friendship further to the level of boy-girl relationship.

Hi pc,

Don't you agree that human beings are just so strange? Sometimes people's behaviour is contradictory to what they are thinking.

There are many such cases where behave this way;

1) They do not know what they want so they play along with whoever comes along and see what happens.

2) They know that you are interested in them so they try to show some interest so that you will be ultra nice to them. Everyone likes people being nice to them right?

3) They are naturally friendly and nice to everyone (even the uncle selling chicken rice) so it might misled you into thinking that they gave you wrong signals.

Thank goodness you are alert enough. Some people can just fall into such fallacies that they can get hurt easily. Constantly be aware and unless the guy confirm anything, do not put in your heart and soul into any relationships. Of course, it's easier said than done.

:)

A Luv Guru

Jealousy...

2007-10-26T00:11:00.000+08:00

Candyx3o: My bf & I are in different schools. We are only able to meet up once a week or so. He's studying in a co-ed school whereas I'm in an all-girls school. I somehow tend to be jealous & concerned about the girls he mix with. Is this kind of feeling normal? Is it also normal to be jealous of the girls he once used to be with? I don't know who they are & whether my bf & these girls are still in contact. I would not want to ask him, because it would seem as if I do not trust him. Is there any way to not worry about such things? It's not that I do not trust him but I just have that feeling of jealousy in me. Is there any way to overcome it? Please advice. Thanks.

Hi Candyx3o,

It's normal for everyone to feel jealous over their bf or gf. It only goes to show that you love him very much. If you are not jealous, then something is wrong.

However, your bf studying in a co-ed school is not his fault. Most of us studied in a co-ed school also. I think you did the right thing by not asking him so much about his activities with his other female school mates. It will only shows that you do not trust him and do not have confidence in yourself.

Try to think of it positively and see whether it helps to overcome your jealousy;

1) We cannot stop anyone from having interactions with the opposite sex, even for yourself.

2) If after all these interactions with other girls and he still love you, it goes to show he is a faithful guy and that you are a much better choice than other girls.

3) If he is the unfaithful sort, it might not be a bad thing for him to expose his true self early so you can minimise the hurt you will have.

4) By being "not so jealous", it goes to show that you have strong personality and guys like girls who do no get jealous so easily. Guys are often very pissed off by girls who are jealous over trivial matters. That will put you at a less advantaged position.

5) Since you can't stop him from interacting with other girls (nobody can stop this), why should you get jealous and sad over this? It will only be harmful for your own sake, be it physically or emotionally. Try to stay happy and relax over this and it might do you more good.

If there's anything that he did that shows that you can trust him or vice versa, let me know and I can give you advice on whether he can be trusted or not.

Hope I have given you some insights.

A Luv Guru

Reaction?

2007-10-25T09:40:00.000+08:00

JADEN: why do i my **** reacted when i had close contact with my gf and even holding hands. HELP its embarass..

Hi Jaden,

I am not too sure if this is under my purview. I can more or less guess what you are trying to ask.

Firstly, a lot of young guys (not sure how young you are) will have this problem but it's certainly not a serious problem. I would rather you have a reaction than not having one. Some guys are even worse than you as they could have a reaction while justing merely thinking of their girlfriend or other girls. Thus, I don't see yours as a serious problem.

At the initial stage, you will feel excited going out on dates and having close contacts with your gf, especially if this is your first experience. Trust me, after some time, this feeling will not be as strong. I mean, if you have your favourite food for a month, I am sure you will not as excited as when you first eat it.

At this point, you might want to try to focus on other things while on a date with your gf. For instance, the conversation and interactions both of you have. Try not to think of her figure (though it might not be easy) and anything remotely linked to sex!

Another way is to wear something that is slightly tighter and gives you a better hold just so that your reaction will not be obvious. Loose boxers is a strict NO-NO here.

Hope it helps.

A Luv Guru

Yara's case... continued

2007-10-25T09:22:00.000+08:00

Yara: thanx alot , actually I tried to give it try but it seems it doesn't work I don't know why but as I mentioned once he's so shy , so maybe he doen't know what to do or maybe I didn't come on his mind!

Hi Yara,

May I know what have you tried and what is his reaction? Since he is so shy, you might need to take a longer time to make him realise that you are interested in him.

But you probably wants to give it a thought whether you are ok with a shy guy like him. This is because he might be shy and passive in nature and you will have to take a lot of initiatives on this relationship. I know most girls might not like to be too "active". But if you are ok, it might pay to put in a bit more time to "move" him.

All the best.

A Luv Guru.

How to overcome shyness...

2007-10-25T00:29:00.001+08:00

jj aka gigabyte14: i bery shy when talking to ANY girl, how ah?

Hi jj,

A lot of people faces the same problem as you. However, different people have different reasons why they are shy. I need to know more about you before I can help.

1) How old are you and when did you realise that you are shy?

2) Are there any unhappy experiences that you have before that causes this shyness? Have you experienced rejections from girls before? If yes, how often?

3) Have you tried approaching any girls before? If yes, how shy are you? Blush? Stammer? Shiver? Run away? This will help me assess your level of shyness.

4) Are you an outspoken person or you are more introverted? Do you also feel shy talking to other people? Are you someone more comfortable or used to talking in the cyberspace?

Sorry for asking so many questions but I hope to be able to understand your problem better before giving any advice.

A Luv Guru

Commitment phobic

2007-10-24T15:17:00.000+08:00

abc: Hi luv guru. Why are most pple commitment phobic?

Hi abc,

There are basically a few reasons why people are having commitment phobic.

1) They have a few bad relationships before and they are very skeptical about relationships now. They are afraid they will be hurt again.

2) They are in this confused state where they do not really know what they want out of the relationship with you. Friends? Date? Lovers? Couple?

3) They are super busy now and they know they cannot afford the time to get committed.

4) They do not want to be tied down to just 1 person now and they enjoy the freedom to be able to go out with other people and making choices.

5) They know jolly well that they won't want to get married so why should they commit?

For your case, it might be one of the above reasons or a combination of a few reasons. Do let me know if you manage to find out.

Good luck.

A Luv Guru

What's next with this guy?

2007-10-22T20:06:00.000+08:00

My very first case from Yara.

here is her story _^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^^_^_^_^_I met a guy in university , he doesn't know me ....and I don't know him very much , unless that I have few informations about him ...but I don't know him in person ....I noticed him since last two semesters cause he is so kind , calm and cute .... he is taking advance courses ...and I'm still in my third semester in the college ..at the same department ....I guess that I like him ...and I feel so happy when I see him ..I wish if I can talk to him ....but I can't ...or I don't know how or what should I say !!!!some of my friends told me to take the chance and talk to him ...either I will feel regret if I missed this chance ....to be honest , I want to ...but I don't know what I have to say ...or how can I start a conversation !!!I'm so confused ...as I mentioned he is so close to graduate ...so I can't see him after that anymore ....!!!!please I need help !!!I decided to talk to him this week , but I have no idea about what should I say ..should l say 'hi' but saying hi from unknown person is really strange !!!!!I know his lessons time , I thought it would be better to fabricate a chance to talk to him ...but the problem is WHAT I HAVE TO SAY !!!!!please help ...as soon as possible !!!! and I will be really thankful ....._^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_

now I passed this stage ...and I had a progress , a good one ..I think I started to talk to him , not that much ..only for few minutes , but at least I know his name he knows mine ..and we can say hi with smiles in every time we meet the problem now ....that he is going to graduate this semeater -as he told me- that means I have only 2 or 3 months maximum then he will travel to Canada to continue his study !!!I like him , I like this guy so much ...but I don't know if he feels the same !!!my friend told me , with the end of this semester ask him about his phone number or E-mail address so we can stay in touch !!!I will do this , but I'm afriad that he will reject ...cause we couldn't know each other only for few months . so asking for his phone number or E-mail address it would be alittle bit strange !!!!at the same time ...I'm saying to myslef that he is so nice so he will not reject ..caus he is treating me nice !!!So , now my problem that I don't know how can I let him know that I'm interested in him ...and I do care about him so much ....and I don't know how can I make him feel the same next few months that I only have any suggestion !!!! and I will be sooooooo thankful

My reply;

Hi Yara,

I guessed most of us experienced this phase of our life before when we have our puppy love infatuation over a school mate or friend. It is only natural for you to feel this way and also not sure of what to do. Most people will not dare to approach the person they like just like that as they will be nervous or freak out in front of them.

However, I will advise you to give it a try. You do not need to tell him straight that you like him. Can just start off as friends first and see how it goes. Who knows you might not like him after knowing him better or may find him unsuitable? It's really ok to ask someone for his number and ask him out. Come on, we are in 21st century!

But, for your own sake, do not put in too much hopes yet as it might not turn out well. To prevent any heart break, just take it easy and see how it goes.

I will be glad to advice if you start going out with him and not sure if his actions are positive or not.

All the best to your sweet sweet puppy love.

:)

A Luv Guru

2007-10-19T11:08:00.000+08:00

My very 1st post.

I was inspired to set up this blog by some friends, after successfully given them advices and helping them "see the light". I was always approached by friends when they are troubled or lost in love. Not sure why they chose me but I was really glad that they find it at ease to confide in me.

I hope that this blog will be a platform to provide emotional support to others who are not so "smooth-sailing" in their love lives. Also, other visitors to this website can also share their stories to inspire others. You can share your story in your comments and I will post and share with others.

So, if you are facing some problems at this point of time, do try to let me know via my tag box or under comments, I will reply you in my next post. It would be good for you to use a nick or name for easy reference. You do not have to use your real name if you do not wish to.

So, where's my first question?

:)